I recorded a little clip with some harmonies at like 2am, it's now 5.15am and I am uploading a full cover of this track : ) It's such a beautiful song I just had to jump on it and I have no time over the next few days. My voice was very tired by this point and delirium was setting in so who knows what I'm going to think about this when I wake from sleep! https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x

Firstly, am realising only now that the balance between the speech and music in this video is a little off so apologies for that! Won't happen again I promise : ) I wanted to let you guys into 'This Devil' a bit more and share some of my own experience with my own 'devil'/negative self talk. The example I gave in this video was the first I can remember but there were many occasions after that one where I really did feel I was in danger just by being alone with myself. Those were the worst moments but it would appear daily in more subtle ways too, without me even realising. Just there working away in the background of my mind. Fucking up my shit. Making life feel so hard that at times I felt like I really couldn’t take it any longer . Over several years, with LOTS of support, I’ve worked really hard on creating distance from these thoughts. I still have to work hard at it tbh and perhaps I always will. But it’s a whole different level to where I was all those years go. Because I know now how to get that distance between me and that negative self talk/devil inside. And the more you are able to do that the less powerful the thoughts become. Which is a big part of the reason it’s been helpful for me to personify it I think. Mindfulness meditation has been an absolute game changer for this as well. Next to therapy I reckon it’s the most powerful tool in fighting depression, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, whatever flavour your mental health struggle comes in. It really does help. So if the experience in this video resonates with you and you feel like you are helpless to it. Maybe try personifying that part of you, see if you gain some distance. And if you can’t do that for yourself yet, that’s the reason I wrote the song, to try and help you gain that distance. Because sometimes the pull is so strong that we just can’t do it for ourselves. I hope the song helps a bit but also talk! Talk talk talk to people about how you’re feeling because we really do need others to pull us out of there sometimes when we just can’t do it for ourselves. Hope some of this makes sense!? S x

For when the voice of your depression and/or anxiety is LOUD. I think I actually prefer this version of the song to the studio version, it feels more connected or honest or something to me. What do you guys think? I recently watched Demi Lovato’s amazing documentary ‘Dancing With The Devil’ and just last night finally watched the Caroline Flack documentary. Both are well worth a watch and really shed light on the fact that you just cannot always tell what someone is going through. It is so important to talk. It is so important share our stories and be vulnerable. Your story might just be the thing that saves someone else, you just never know! We can’t just keep losing people when there are ways to save them. I am more driven and determined than ever to keep talking about mental health. I am so lucky to be here, to have had the help that I did. the friends and family around me, the professional support of a psychotherapist for over 7 years. The right guidance with my medication. All of it. I am so fucking lucky and SO aware that most people just don’t have all of that. So I really do feel a duty to try and help in any way I can, it’s as simple as that. With love, S x . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com

A brief look at tiredness as a symptom of depression. For some people depression leads to insomnia and for others it leads to oversleeping, I am in the latter camp. When I am low, I am low in energy. It's like a different person. Things I can normally do easily are no longer an option, which just feels shit and adds to the general sense of hopelessness and helplessness. I have often tended to assume the best thing for me was to clear my calendar and do nothing. And while sometimes this is exactly what is needed and it's important to allow ourselves to take that time. It may not always be the best approach. In this video I explore the idea that sometimes the fear of overdoing it and not being able to cope, is in fact, the depression at play and that perhaps this 'perpetual not quite living' rather than healing us, just keeps us isolated from the things that could actually help us. With love, S x Subscribe and follow on my other platforms for more Stella! . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x

For when the voice of your depression and/or anxiety is LOUD. As soon as we can separate ourselves from our negative thoughts we instantly gain power over them. I've been working on being able to do this for years now, some days I nail it, others I don't. This song is for anyone who needs a little help with this particular battle, because sometimes when we can't get ourselves out of our heads on our own, having someone to say, I get it, I totally know where you are right now and how shit it feels, can really help to quieten those voices. This song is me saying that. 'I know where you are, I know who you're with, I know how it hurts, her whispering' . I hope it can help some of you. With love, S x . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com

This track is a brief exploration of loneliness. Often self identifying as an introvert, my tendency is to withdraw from the world but as I express in the track I am beginning to think it is not always what’s best for me. This is the first in a series of tracks written and recorded during lockdown in November 2020. My songwriting partner and producer (jackgillenguitar) and I decided we were going to change up the way we were working, which was basically overworking. Overworking, over editing and over producing until the music began to lose it’s focus, as did we! As a major perfectionist I am really prone to this and all it does really is stifle the creative flow! So we decided we were just going to go into the studio and try and write and record songs in a much shorter time frame - a day if possible. This track actually ended up taking a few sessions but a lot of what you hear here was a result of the first session, in fact the first verse was the first thing that came out of my mouth. I just started talking and we rolled with it. In Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ (possibly my favourite book on creativity), she sets the task of ‘morning pages’ which is essentially just a brain dump of all your thoughts first thing in the morning, just three pages of writing down your free flowing thoughts as they come to you. It’s amazing what comes to light during these pages sometimes! Anyway we decided we want these sessions to be like ‘musical pages’. So whatever ideas came, we would go with them, trust them and not really be allowed to scrap them, which was definitely hard at times. For example, the speech in the track felt quite exposing for me and I was nervous to share it but we kept it. We kept it because that is what came out and I am so glad we did because it unlocked a whole different format for me to play with and I actually found it so freeing. I liked it so much that I used speech in another song in this series too. I really hope you like it. All my love, S x Subscribe and follow on my other platforms for more Stella! . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x

Mindfulness meditation has been part of my daily routine now for just under 2 years or so. It has changed my experience of life greatly already and I know that I am just scratching the surface of this thing! It’s incredible. I urge anyone and everyone to give it a try. Far beyond the benefits reported in the wellness industry like reducing stress and keeping anxiety at bay. Mindfulness practice and meditation reveal things about yourself and the world that you didn’t even know existed, or did at a time but buried or forgot. It is something I am nowhere near capable of describing to you adequately because I still have so much deeper to go myself. But already I am a passionate advocate for it. This vid is a brief report on my experience meditating for 5 hours for the first time. I was really excited by the idea of just doing the meditation itself but also about the idea of sharing my experience with you too. There are many things that I left out as a) I am not an expert and am wary not to misinform b) I didn’t want to bore you c) I am not a great videographer Almost everything that could go wrong with this video did. To the point where I had to make the decision to either not publish it, or accept that it was going to be very rough round the edges, just get over myself and accept that ‘everything is as it should be’. So my apologies for the fact that it is very out of sync in places, bits of text are misaligned and so much more that makes the perfectionist in me tense! I genuinely have no idea whether it will be of any interest to anyone but I figure, if theres a chance that it might and that it might help even just one person to discover mindfulness then thats reason enough to share! 'Everything Is' Official Music video: https://youtu.be/tlZTLYvoLMQ - Subscribe and follow on my other platforms for more Stella! . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x

For when your anxiety + depression are coming at you. - I shot this video myself during lockdown in 2020. I'm not a videographer and didn't have a camera so it was going to have to be shot on my phone. I knew therefore that it had to be something simple otherwise it would just look shit. Also so that it wouldn't detract from the lyrics. I came up with the idea of me just sitting there meditating . I loved this idea immediately because it felt so right for the song which is all about sitting with what is, accepting it and learning to just sit with it. I decided I would speed up the footage so it wasn't completely dull and meant sitting in meditation for a long time! I worked out I would need to sit for 5 hours to get enough footage (these calculations were wrong I later realised). I do have a daily meditation practice but up until that point I had only ever meditated for 10 minutes so 5 hours was a big jump! But I loved the idea of challenging myself and then being able to share the experience with you guys! I was so proud that I'd pushed myself, A few years ago I never would have believed I would be a meditator, but my mindfulness meditation practice is 100% one of the most powerful weapons I have against my depression and anxiety. I cannot recommend it enough! So I hope you enjoy this song and the message of acceptance. It's such a bitch to achieve a lot of the time, to just embrace whatever difficult situation or negative frame of mind we find ourselves in, but when we can just accept what is, there is an immediate shift to somewhere better. - Everything is I was in the kitchen in the morning. Mindlessly I was searching for something, anything to make me feel ok, to take the emptiness away. That’s when it came to me. Everything is as it should be. Everything wants to be thus. I wanna change it I want to rearrange it, I want to feel better somehow, But everything is how it should be. Nothing could be better could be worse. I love the fact that I’m singing this verse, coz I was low, weeks ago, sitting in the kitchen in the morning, mindlessly I was searching for, what then came to me Everything is as it should be. Everything wants to be thus. I wanna change it I want to rearrange it, I want to feel better somehow, But everything is how it should be. This is it. This moment right now. This is it. So what will I make of it? This is it. This very moment right now. This is it. So I don’t wanna lose it. Everything is as it should be. Everything wants to be thus. I wanna change it I want to rearrange it, I want to feel better somehow, But everything is how it should be. - Subscribe and follow on my other platforms for more Stella! . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x

When you are completely empty and need someone to look after you because you can't do that for yourself. - Director - Alice Bird Producers - Alice Bird, Stella Angelika, Oron Cohen Director of Photography - Oron Cohen Editors - Alice Bird, Stella Angelika Grader - Arik On screen boyfriend - Miles Horsham-Batley - Take me home So I'm not alone When my mind is gone Take me home Show me peace When I need release When I'm scared to breathe I want to stay Oh take me home with you Show me love like I'm supposed to do Show me the way And I'll fight for the day To take you home Lay with me Until I'm asleep Even then don't leave I want to feel Your body Close to me With that heartbeat I know so well Oh take me home with you Show me love like I'm supposed to do Show me the way And I'll fight for the day To take you home Take me home So I'm not alone When my mind is gone Take me home - Subscribe and follow on my other platforms for more Stella! . https://www.instagram.com/stellaangelikamusic/ . https://www.facebook.com/stellaangelikamusic . https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rW8Cifmv7wQ3txMzYqDJj?si=aROrFZD4SSOuOSXfQJ-pQA . https://twitter.com/Stellaangelika_ . https://www.stellaangelika.com S x